Oh,that was sarcasm ?

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I couldn’t care less but I’m working on it.

Wish you were weird.

Sorry I’m not good at people-ing.

Who let me adult? I can’t adult !

BORN ANNOYED !

I would like to confirm that I do not care.

WTF is LOLZZZZZZZ?Did you laugh your ass to sleep?

 

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Don’t touch me, I’m internet famous !

You are damaging my calm.

I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles.

Dear Youtube, I will always „skip ad“.

Sometimes all you need is billion dollars.

When I’m famous I’ll remember that you unfollowed me.

Girls buy expensive shit just to impress other girls.No guy has ever
be like “ She is ugly, but that purse…I had to smash.“

If I pay $50 for a haunted house, I better die !

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Those feelings when you want a relationship..but you don’t,
but you do, but you don’t.

Good things come to those I hate.

A dude can love you from the bottom of his heart and still have
a room at the top of his heart for another bitch.

Hearing scary noises at night : well this is it, I had a good life.

All my password was protected by amnesia.

I’m practicing a new religion.It’s called Idontgiveafuckism.

I wish I could delete my number off of other people’s phones.

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The more a pay attention the more pissed of a get.

You’re the stereotype of someone who’s always complaining about
stereotypes.

My swear jar could finance the fucking space program.

I COMPLETE ME.

I put the hot in psychotic.

Your “check asshole“ light is on.

You only live once but every day.

I’m not a princess but I can be a royal bitch.

Better grab my dumbrella.It’s really stupid out there today.

I’ll fuck of.You wait here.
(reverse psychology)

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Did you hear what happened to the paranoid narcissist?
Everything.

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!
No, wait not the horse..the horse is cool.

I don’t compete, I dominate .

Some days you’re a pigeon.
Some days you’re a statue.

You and I are just different.And by different, I mean you’re stupid.

I have a condition that makes me eat when I can’t sleep.It’s called
insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.

Bitch I didn’t text you to exercise my fingers,I want a damn reply.

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Am I normal yet ?

Why do we bake cookies and cook the bacon?

Look busy.Jesus is coming.

Your comment is made of fail.

Kill a princess, save a dragon !

I enjoy long walks away from people who won’t shut the hell up.

I’m a simple woman.I see Ryan Gosling, I press like.

For every time I give a fuck, that fuck, fucked me over.

Be your selfie.

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